Do you want to change yourself, but don’t know where to start or what to do? We offer effective advice from a psychologist! Enjoy your health and change!
Good day to everyone, dear readers of the useful site Success Diary! 😉
We are almost always too critical of ourselves.
Anything can displease us!
Some suffer because of their own appearance, some are not satisfied with their salary, and some even suffer because of their own children.
Such dissatisfaction is brooded over day after day, discussed over tea, but things usually don’t go further than talk.
And instead of developing and solving problems, we aggravate our dissatisfaction, accumulate irritability and anger until we reach a dead end.
Someone in such situations begins to think, how to change yourself, and someone continues to drive themselves into an even bigger hole.
How to change yourself?
At the initial stage of changing yourself, there are several rules, without which all your wishes will crumble at the dream stage, never coming true.
So what are these rules?
1 rule. Motivation to change yourself
The most important and powerful incentive for you at the initial stage should be motivation.
You must be passionate about change.
Motivation is the basis of everything!
For example, you weigh 200 kg and want to lose weight, but are not losing weight.
Why? Admit it to yourself - you just don't want to do it.
A person who really wants to lose weight loses weight.
Therefore: if you really want something, think about strong motivation.
For some it may be a modeling agency, for others it may be the affection of a loved one, and for others it may be universal admiration.
Rule 2. Set clear goals
Often our desires look like this:
I'll go there, I don't know where!
I want something, I don’t know what!
In other words, we want to go somewhere, we want a lot of money, a cool car and a luxurious house. Thinking about such things we confuse our own brain.
Our brain begins to ask: where do I want to go, what kind of car do I want, etc.
But he does not receive answers to his questions, and therefore nothing happens.
Imagine you work in a restaurant, and a client calls you and makes the following order: “Bring me some delicious, inexpensive food someday.”
What will you do?
First of all, you clarify what kind of delicious food the client wants.
You will ask how much he wants to spend and what specific time he wants to receive his food.
Did you get the point?
Your brain needs specifics too.
For example, I want to lose 50 kg in 3 months.
Specify all your wishes and then they will become more real!
We begin to change ourselves
Too many people don't want to to change yourself just because they think it’s impossible.
From childhood, many stereotypes are ingrained in us, and the stereotype about the impossibility of changing oneself is among them.
We are often told that we cannot change, that character is formed in the womb, and habits - in the first years of life.
However, in fact, you can change at any age, the main thing is the right motivation and goal setting.
Now that you have found the right motivation and motivation, it’s time to move on to the most important thing - changing yourself.
Stage 1. We begin to think positively and change ourselves
At the initial stage changing yourself, start thinking only about the good.As a rule, all successful people think exclusively positively. Pessimism is for losers.
Optimists initially program their consciousness for the best that can happen to them.
For example, in a year I will have a salary of $10 thousand per month and a 3-room apartment on Krasnye Presni Street.
In this case, you should also not fall into depression.
In this case, you should think like this:
“It’s right that I was fired! After all, in this position I won’t be able to start earning $10 thousand a month. And the next place will bring me just that kind of money.”
- passion;
- optimism;
- discipline;
- patience.
Stage 2. Changing ourselves and fighting stress
Once you have learned to think positively, move on to dealing with stress.
After all, all successful and balanced people know how to control their emotions.
Don't let even the little things ruin your mood.
Know: nerve cells do not recover.
Continuing an uncontrolled emotional life, you risk becoming an old grumpy grandmother or grandfather in old age.
You don't want this?!
First, start agreeing with everyone, no matter what they tell you.
For example, when your boss scolds you, do not argue with him.
By proving that you are not an ass, you only aggravate the argument and inflame your boss.
Instead, agree with everything he says, even if the boss is wrong.
This will unsettle him and prevent conflict.
A person will simply become uninterested in yelling if you already agreed with him!
Even if you are yelled at on a bus, in a store, or near your home, do not respond to rudeness with rudeness.
Instead, smile and say something meaningful that will confuse the person.
By nipping swearing and arguments in the bud, you will save yourself from unnecessary stress and worries.
with simple tips on how to change yourself.
Include:
Stage 3. We are looking for the qualities we need
To achieve success in any field, we simply need a number of useful qualities, such as:
You can supplement this list with other useful qualities that you would like to have.
Now you should understand how to achieve the desired qualities and become better changing yourself.
Separately, it is worth highlighting passion.
Try to find something for yourself that you will devote yourself to without reserve, try to find yourself!
After all, the most important thing in life is to do only what truly brings joy and warmth.
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How to change yourself? If you are asking this question, it means that you are already a very mature person. People are more likely to ask questions about how to change other people or circumstances.
Only an adult and reasonable person understands that any changes in life begin with changes in oneself.
It is truly a great success to understand that managing the circumstances of your life begins with changing yourself.
How to start changing correctly
Setting goals
Changing yourself is a worthy decision. But where to start? Before you change yourself, you need to understand exactly what goals you are striving for. What do you want to see as a result of your changes? After all, you can spend a lot of effort and then be dissatisfied with the result.
The goals that may require changes are very different, for example:
- Make a dizzying career.
- Create a family.
- Find health and beauty.
- Gain a high position in society.
- Create sources of passive income.
But we must take into account that in order to achieve this or that goal, certain qualities will be required:
- For example, the qualities a woman needs to start a family: kindness, tenderness, desire to take care of children, meekness, obedience, fidelity, devotion. And if a girl sets herself the goal of creating a family, then it will be beneficial for her to change and develop precisely these qualities.
- If the goal is to build a career, other qualities will be needed, such as determination, assertiveness, determination, and strength.
- Of course, you can develop all the qualities in yourself a little at a time for an undefined purpose. But with this approach, attempts to change are likely to quickly reach a dead end. Since actions in the absence of a goal do not bring much satisfaction, it is therefore lost to move on.
Therefore, it is very important to set a goal before you start changing. Just “I want to change” is not enough to transform yourself. Change begins with choosing a goal. This is the answer to the question: “Where to start transforming yourself?”
Search for role models
The next step in changing yourself will be to find people who have already achieved similar goals.
Knowing the end point you want to get to, you can try to find your own path. But we must understand that such a search takes a long time and very often leads to nothing. Sometimes it feels like trying to invent your own script and language.
It is much easier to study examples of the development of those people who were in a similar situation and were able to change it. It is very important that they are able to overcome it successfully. It is advisable to take more than one or two examples.
- BIOGRAPHIES OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE
What can you take as an example? A great option is biographies.
, in one area or another, sometimes they write books about how they overcame difficulties and how they changed.
- Reading biographical books helps to identify personality traits that contributed to the achievement of intended goals through changes. Choose books whose authors could confidently say: “I changed myself completely and got decent results.”
PEOPLE AROUND YOU
Sometimes examples can be seen in life. For example, a friend whose personal life did not work out for a long time, but then she changed herself and found family happiness.
- Or a colleague who at first held a minor position, but then... Watch people who are able to achieve what they want. Note their qualities, do not hesitate to ask for advice.
LECTURES, TRAININGS
- Listening to lectures and attending trainings is also a good option to meet the right people. Sometimes the leader of such trainings himself is a successful person who is ready to share his experience on how to change. And I've gone through big changes in the past.
PSYCHOLOGICAL LITERATURE
Reading helps you change yourself. However, not all books will be useful.
- Therefore, study the reviews and try to learn as much as possible about the author’s life. Not all authors of psychological literature are worthy of being an example of how to change.
If faith is not unacceptable to you, then you can read or listen to lectures by clergy. Among them there are often people who have the knowledge of how to completely change and are good role models.
Studying other people's experiences
The next step in self-improvement will be to study the experiences of people who were able to change the course of their lives. By studying their experience, you can systematize it and understand how to change in order to become like them and achieve your goals.
Read books, attend trainings, study biographies, collect as much information as possible from other people’s experiences on how to change yourself.
Don't throw yourself into the pool headlong. At first, some things may not be understood. That is, there will be no understanding of why this or that thing needs to be done, how to apply it and why it is needed. Don’t write it off, gradually introduce into your life what is close and understandable.
- For example, if you decide to become a leading person, then starting it immediately on Monday, by Tuesday of the next week there is a high chance of quitting it.
- Why? Because when the thought “I want to change” comes, a person rushes to change everything at once. That is, a newly minted follower of a healthy lifestyle begins to get up at 6 in the morning, do exercises, eat vegetables and fruits instead of the usual dumplings, quit smoking and skip drinking alcohol at his next birthday.
- As a result, after a few days or weeks, this lifestyle becomes unbearable. The person returns to his old habits. Question: “How to change?” Now he is much less concerned, and a feeling of aversion to change arises.
- When studying the experience of others, join in with it gradually, with understanding. If you're going to get up early, get up 30 minutes earlier tomorrow. After three or four days for another 10 minutes. Gradually increase the rise time to the desired one. This should become a habit, not self-abuse. And before doing anything, it is very important to understand why you need it.
Where to look for support and how to stay motivated
When deciding how to change yourself, it is very important to remember that motivation and a strong desire to change are integral companions of progress.
Naturally, the desire to change will wax and wane over time. Sooner or later, the first fuse will pass, and motivation will begin to decrease. There will definitely be situations along the path of change when it seems like there is no progress.
There will be situations when it seems that changes are going completely in the wrong direction, that they are not bringing you any closer to your goals. Sometimes there may be a strong desire to give up everything and return to what was before.
But remember that to say the phrase: “I changed myself completely, I achieved success!” Only those who finally reached the end can do it, those who coped with all the difficulties, survived difficult moments and those who did not give up.
To cope with difficult situations that arise along the path of change, create conditions for yourself that will help you not give up what you started. What are these conditions?
The right attitude towards failure
There will undoubtedly be successes and failures in the process of change. It is important to have the right attitude towards failure. There is no need to reproach yourself for every mistake.
Failure is also good. Because it gives food for thought and analysis. It helps you understand your mistakes and not make them in the future.
If you're not making mistakes, then you're probably not learning. Every miss carries an equal or even greater opportunity. Learn to see failures as opportunities and lessons.
An environment conducive to change
Without a good environment that shares your goals, change will be impossible. There are no people who never experience doubts. There are very few people who can resist the pressure of others for a long time. In order to survive periods of doubt and rejection by society, it is necessary to have the support of like-minded people.
It is not necessary that there be many such people, but there should be at least one. Because it is the support of someone who shares your aspirations and beliefs that can change everything.
Tracking progress of changes
- Motivation is lost due to the inability to feel progress. The solution in this case would be a diary or any other way of recording the current state.
- Return to old posts about yourself from time to time to see that changes are still happening.
Possible obstacles
Often a person who declares: “I want to change” and begins to move in this direction is perceived with hostility by others.
Don’t worry about the question: “How can I change if those around me don’t support me?” faces everyone who decides to go their own way, change and develop.
An environment that prevents change
For example, someone in the company stopped drinking and no longer drinks alcohol. Usually such statements cause a strong reaction. Because you can’t just stop drinking. This requires a very compelling reason, such as illness or pregnancy. There is no other way.
People around you, as a rule, are afraid of change; they do not share your desire to change. Perhaps, if you stay on track and achieve good results, over time these same people will wonder how to change themselves.
But for now, they will most likely react negatively or warily.
Personality traits that prevent you from changing
In addition to people, character traits such as laziness, fear, and indecisiveness hinder change. Old favorite habits also slow down progress:
- For example, a person takes care of his health, masters healthy eating, and physical exercise. But here laziness and old habits begin to attack. Have a delicious meal in the evening, skip the workout.
- Drive such desires away. Create an environment in which it is difficult for bad habits and character traits to manifest themselves. Then, over time, you will happily say: “I have completely changed myself.”
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We all want to change something in our lives, but, as always, we find 150 reasons why we cannot do it.
Especially for you website prepared 12 tasks that you must complete every month. The countdown is on!
Every year we make plans, promise to change our lives for the better, but there are always reasons why we cannot achieve these goals. Our main problem is that we plan incorrectly.
Teacher and blogger Manya Borzenko has found a way with which you can achieve everything you want. So let's get started.
- We determine what is important in our lives.
- We determine what is important and works by itself.
- We support the work in non-dying mode.
- We determine how to start the sagging.
- Forward!
At first glance, everything seems easy and simple, the main thing is to follow all these rules.
Many habits prevent us from living happily. It is, of course, difficult to get rid of them, but it is possible. And here are some tips:
- The habit of devoting around the clock to work.
Don't fill your day with endless tasks. Always take time to rest, reflect and recharge. And don't kid yourself - you're not so busy that you can't relax for a few minutes. - The habit of remembering your past.
You are no longer the same as you were a year, month or even a week ago. You are always growing and changing. That is life. - The habit of being liked by everyone.
We don't have to love everyone we meet, and everyone around us doesn't have to love us.
You need to work on yourself every day. At first it will be difficult to break the habit of all your habits, but over time you will only get better.
The beginning of spring is the best time to take care of your body. Summer is ahead, which means you need to lose those extra pounds. First, try doing the plank exercise. This is the most effective way to strengthen the abdomen and shoulder girdle.
- Get on your hands and knees. Straighten your legs and place your toes on the floor.
- Tighten your abdominal muscles and take turns lifting your legs off the floor, lifting them up a few centimeters.
- Perform the exercise for a minute. Keep your back straight without arching your lower back.
10 minutes a day - and your body can change beyond recognition in a month. This is just one of the exercises you need to do every day
Now, thanks to the Internet, we can gain knowledge for free and without leaving home. You can learn programming, play the guitar or piano, or become a chess champion. All in your hands. You just have to want it, and you will always find time.
We often experience difficulties communicating with parents, management or friends. It's time to fix it!
How to talk to management
To correctly present the information we plan to communicate and choose the right time to talk to the boss, we need to put ourselves in his shoes. It is better to ask the manager how it would be more convenient for him to discuss the request: in person or by email. As for email, you should not copy the phrases of your interlocutor: this is a passive-aggressive way of communication.
How to talk to your significant other
It is worth paying attention to what we are told. If on a date everything the interlocutor talks about is saturated with negativity, this is a reason to think: isn’t he afraid of the relationship he entered into with us?
Summer has come, and it's time to throw out all the unnecessary junk that we have lying around. Our home is an extension of ourselves, our reflection. If you want changes, first of all take care of your home. When the house is kept clean and tidy, the mind comes into order and things get better.
It's time to change the scenery and go to conquer mountain heights or sandy beaches. You shouldn't save money on vacation. The most valuable things in our life are emotions and impressions. In another country you will meet new people, new cultures, customs, and discover something new. Isn't this wonderful?
To be beautiful and charming is the main calling of a girl. You don't have to have Hollywood looks to please men and feel confident. Every woman at least once in her life asked herself the question: “How can I change myself externally?” Female nature itself requires minor transformations. Changing externally, introducing changes in the image, we feel renewed. To do this, it is not necessary to resort to plastic surgery or buy expensive cosmetics.
How to change your appearance beyond recognition
Every representative of the fair sex thinks about how to change her appearance for the better and create an extraordinary image. Surprisingly, sometimes small details are enough. Expressive eyeliner, plump lips, a confident demeanor, an easy gait, and your friends and acquaintances will not recognize you as the former modest woman.
What to change?
How to change yourself externally, look attractive and surround yourself with enchanted looks? A girl can start the transformation with:
- hairstyles;
- makeup;
- clothes;
- manners of speech;
- elements of behavior.
To change beyond recognition, start with your clothes, makeup, hairstyle. Analyze the advantages and disadvantages of your appearance. What would you like to see new in your reflection? Choose the appropriate sets of clothes, add severity or lightness, luxury, grace, femininity to the image. You don't have to radically change your entire wardrobe. Carefully examine the items in your closet, combine existing outfits, adding accessories.
How to change your appearance at home?
You shouldn't start changing your appearance with plastic surgery. Try to choose your makeup, to do this, practice at home, in front of a mirror, or contact a makeup artist. The new image should not be very different from the usual one. If you are thinking about how to radically change your appearance, think about how the new image will fit into your usual life. Take courage and decorate your body with a tattoo if you have been dreaming about it for a long time, or get a short haircut, change the shape and color of your eyebrows.
How to change your image?
Don't know how to change your appearance for the better? Choose the image of the actress or singer who most appeals to you, try out her makeup or hairstyle. To answer the question of how to change a girl’s image, decide on the look of one day. To add femininity to your everyday look, buy shoes with low heels, make lush curls out of straight strands, change your backpack or baggy bag to an elegant and stylish one.
Where to begin?
To change yourself externally and internally, you should work daily:
- Get up 40 minutes earlier and do morning exercises. This healthy habit will transform your body and add energy for the day ahead.
- Eat right, only healthy food stimulates the maintenance of positive endeavors.
- Always be elegant, even when going out to the store.
Tired of office clothes and want something creative? Then bright, flowy blouses and jeans with an original pattern will help create a feeling of lightness. The main thing is not to be afraid of changes, but to meet your desires. If in doubt, consult a professional stylist. He will competently select a new image based on your external data. Make an appointment with a manicurist and makeup artist, get your hands in order and choose a beautiful make-up.
How to change your style?
Improve yourself, only the feeling of inner harmony is perceived by others as attractive. Even the most charming girl can reveal the gray mouse in herself from the first sentences. Regardless of appearance, the inner world should be rich and developed, think positively and smile a lot. Some tips:
- read books;
- find yourself a hobby;
- spend time with friends;
- enjoy every day.
To change your style, imagine a new image, visualize it. Then pay attention to the details of this picture - a dream. How do they differ from current realities? Sketch out a new image, then choosing clothes, makeup, and accessories will not be difficult. Master cherished qualities such as confidence, femininity, sensuality, physical health.
Program for changing appearance in photos
Sometimes we don't enjoy our image in a photograph. This happens because we don’t know how to behave in front of the camera. Before you avoid the camera, learn how to change your appearance in a photograph. With the help of computer programs that correct the image, it is possible to:
- make your figure slimmer;
- choose a hairstyle, hair color;
- experiment with makeup and even eye color.
Video: how to change externally
How to emphasize individuality, skillfully hide flaws, and focus on strengths? Girls with non-standard shapes will learn how to choose clothes correctly and skillfully hide figure imperfections. From the video you will learn how to radically change yourself in appearance, highlighting your advantageous aspects with well-chosen accessories, hairstyle, and makeup.
There is no person in the world who, at least once in his life, did not want to become completely different. Most often, such a desire arises at the moment when you want to change your life, get rid of painful problems and disagreements with others, complexes, shortcomings and everything that simply interferes with living fully.
Most people dream of becoming rich and independent, achieving success in their chosen field of activity, but few people succeed in this and the character and thoughts of the person himself become an obstacle in this. It is not necessary to change radically; even the slightest change in character or behavior already makes a person different. If changes in yourself are really necessary to feel happy, you just have to find out how to become a different person and how to change internally.
How to become a completely different person
Start changing yourself by studying your inner world, because all events that occur in life originate from personal experiences, dreams and the spiritual world of a person. Every thought, word, movement affects how others treat us. If spoken words are not backed up by actions, then the attitude of others becomes extremely negative and disapproving. But even in this case, a person should not change himself to please others, he must make this decision himself and do it for himself. No one should love others more than themselves, only true self-love can change life. After all, if you don’t know how to love yourself, how can you love someone else?
Before you begin, first answer the question “Do you love yourself?” Don't try to brush it off, be honest with yourself. If you really don't love yourself, then learn how to fix this situation. Without this, it will not be possible to become a different person. If it is difficult to answer such a question, then remember: do you often praise yourself, approve of the actions you have taken, the word you have said to someone, are you worried about what others will think if you find yourself in an awkward situation. If you can’t remember the last time you admired yourself and were glad that everything was working out for you, but on the contrary, you want to once again reproach yourself for not being as perfect, beautiful and smart as others, these are symptoms of chronic self-dislike. And until you learn to love yourself, you will not be able to change. All attempts will be pointless, because you simply do not know how to value yourself, no matter what you do.
But as soon as you stop criticizing yourself and start praising yourself at least once a week, write down what exactly you want to change in yourself, what character traits or actions. Don’t forget to write what you are not happy with and what you don’t like in life, what you are unhappy with. Your task is to look deep into your soul and make a complete list of what you have to fight with. Having learned to love yourself, you will be able to adequately assess whether you really need to become a different person, because you have already managed to change by loving yourself. If the desire to change remains, then write down what kind of person you want to become. Having assessed the scale of future transformations, indicate nearby what can help and make this process less painful. The most difficult thing in this situation was and remains an honest admission to myself that I am not perfect. After all, everyone, deep down in their souls, wants to be a model for others, to feel respect and support from others.
Make it a rule to write down all the doubts that arise on the way to becoming a different person. The character formed over the years, the habits developed and the style of behavior - everything will force you to stop and abandon your plans. This is how a person is designed: he strives for peace and his comfort zone. But if you want to change, get ready to fight not only with others, but also with yourself. Having expressed on paper everything that worries and excites you, you yourself will be surprised at how far-fetched all these fears and worries are.
It’s not for nothing that psychologists advise pouring out your deepest fears on paper, and then burning or tearing the sheet. Talking through or describing a problem in detail, whatever is more convenient, allows a person to really look at the things that scare him and, as a rule, he immediately begins to understand that there is nothing in this life that he cannot do. Whatever you plan can come true if you believe in yourself and that you are the creator of your own happiness. The same applies to working on yourself, since the desire to become different is the same desire as any other, and you just have to believe that everything is in your hands.
How to change internally
- Change your philosophy and worldview. Give up outdated concepts. They are the ones who prevent you from becoming what you dream of. Every word heard from my parents and loved ones shaped my view of myself and the world around me. And, unfortunately, the attitude of relatives is not always objective and helps a person become more self-confident. Therefore, to achieve success in life, start by developing your own assessment of your personality and the world around you. Give up other people's principles that were imposed, develop your own view of the world. Sometimes this is enough to get rid of self-doubt, love yourself and become a different person.
- To feel the pleasure of life, do not deny yourself the right to hobbies and interests. Don't listen if others criticize you for it. The main thing is that they bring pleasure and give joy, but at the same time they should not interfere with your path to success by taking up time. The best option would be when your hobby helps you take a break from work or becomes a source of income, allowing you to devote more time to your development.
- If you want to change yourself, understand: “Who are you?”, “What kind of person?”, “What benefit can you bring to the world?” After all, why do you want to become different and why? Lack of understanding of your capabilities, your own value for yourself and others often becomes an obstacle to success.
- Most unpleasant emotions are brought to us by other people. We begin to get nervous, worried, upset, offended that we are not understood and not heard. To maintain peace in your soul, stop judging and evaluating people, rather try to understand them and act with them based on their attitude towards life. Avoid people who bring negativity into your life, and with those who are dear to you, in case of any disagreements and solutions to problems, find not just a compromise, but a third option that will suit both parties.
- Don't put off achieving your goals, even if they seem impossible. Take it and do what is important to you right now. Don’t look for reasons that help justify inactivity; rather, spend your time bringing your plans to life.
- If you can’t decide where to start, make a plan on how to fulfill your deepest desire in life. On this path you will begin to change, whether you want it or not. New activities, achievements, pleasure from even the smallest result on the path to what you want will force you to change your attitude towards yourself. You will feel your self-confidence increase, and with it your faith in your strength.
- Don't despair if things don't work out. Try again and again. If you decide to play sports, find time so that it doesn’t happen. Don't let yourself get complacent. Becoming a different person is not easy. This requires every effort and great will, but only patience and determination will allow you to achieve success on this path. There is nothing more difficult than changing your habits and worldview ingrained in your blood. But only those who are ready to rise as many times as necessary will achieve success. No failures or difficulties will force him to abandon his goals. A strong person does not dream, he sets goals for himself and, as a rule, achieves them. So be strong and persistent and you will definitely succeed.
Few people know that their desires and goals are not fulfilled through their own fault. Anyone can give a hundred reasons why something didn’t work out for them. But the recipe for success lies within you, and it depends only on your thoughts and efforts whether you achieve what you want or not. If the presence of complexes prevents you from achieving success, then you just need to get rid of them.
Every effort made to make a wish come true will bear fruit, the main thing is to just learn to listen to yourself. If you want to become a different person, and you understand that this is really necessary, like air, don’t pay attention to anyone, don’t ask anyone, change, because this is the only way to change your life radically.
